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When we last saw Thelma and Louise,
they were in San Diego. Actually, they've travelled several places since then, but that's the last
record of them a la web.
Now, we catch up with the girls in Texas. Let's hear it in Thelma's own words:
| We're still on a quest to find where we belong, but we think we might have taken a
wrong turn, as we found ourselves. suddenly dropped into one of the most godforsaken
places in the country, Texas. Our hopes were high, though, since we had appeared
on a almost life-sized map of the state and surely any place that
evolved would provide us a wonderful experience, and it looked as if we might be
able to live it up a bit and enjoy life.
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We were taken inside, seated on the rumps of bizarre huge beasts, and given fruity
alcoholic beverages until our eyes quivered. |
| Maybe it was just the drink, maybe not, but we started seeing macaws and gorillas
and other strange animals that we never before believed were native to Texas.
Louise believed completely that we'd hit the good life, that our time of searching
was coming to an end. You know me, though, I'm a bit of a cynic. although I was
sorry to once again be proven right. I knew this wouldn't last. Apparently,
the drinks and nice treatment were just a method of lulling us into a false
sense of security.
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Our "hosts", and I use that term loosely, informed us that here in Texas
we all have to work for a living. So, we next found ourselves delivering
the Sunday edition of the Dallas Morning News. The job itself isn't
that tough, although folding up the editorials and coupons and comics
into those plastic bags can be tough when you're only 4" and possess
no discernible arms. Hanging out at 3:00am with freaky characters in
skullcaps is not really my thing, either, but hey, you have
to learn to hang with the natives, right? We were handling it okay,
until Louise let out a shriek when she suddenly spied the headline,
something about the inauguration of President . Bush. Okay, now we
knew we had slipped into an alternative reality and were in serious
trouble.
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We leaped off the moving truck without much of a farewell to those weird Texas hosts,
and started hiking. We noticed strange characters, missing several teeth, with an
abundance of facial hair and pronounced eyebrows, usually wearing plaid flannel and
grubby pants and displaying shotguns in their pickup truck windows. and they all
seemed to be taking notice of us. Maybe it was the bright coloring we sport, or the
fluttering eyelashes, but when we saw the "welcome hunters" sign, we knew
we needed to hide fast.
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The terrain became more and more barren. We found ourselves climbing over tangled
mountains of cactus. "Thank Xena we have a hard plastic protective coating!"
gasped Louise. "But sliding on your rump over this cactus is still not a very fun venture."
I muttered back.
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I started to ponder about Texas' finer points (if there were any to be had).
I'd always heard big talk about oil and cattle, cattle and oil. We found a few
oil pumps, and although I've always been handy with tools, even my wiles were
not enough to get this one rust-bucket going again. I think I've discovered
why the prices have gone so high at the gas stations - too many of these rust
buckets littering the earth, not working at all.
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Okay, so maybe cattle would be our bag. We found a likely herd and scoped them out,
but as you can see, all they do is stare at you and stink. And stink. How do they
make money from these beasts? They looked more inclined to use us as their next
meal.
It felt more and more unsafe to be roaming about in Texas for us, with the hunters on
the prowl, the oil pumps locked up in rust, and cattle pooping everywhere. Louise
and I knew we had to find some place that catered more to our kind. Or at least
to kind that are a bit closer in size to ourselves.
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We may have found it! It's called Possum Kingdom! You can see the welcome sign here.
Although we haven't seen one yet, Louise assures me that possums are sweet, furry, small
beasts that are incredibly intelligent and socially adept. After all, they have their
own kingdom, so they must be doing something right. And Texas has graciously set aside
a state park and game reserve just for them.
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But we were getting hungry, thirsty, and tired. We climbed into one of the trees
and were thrilled to see a beautiful stretch of waterfront. |
| We quickly whipped together some fishing gear and soon were
perched on the water's edge, fishing for our delicious dinner.
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Our accommodations here are excellent, too, as you can see. We have our own
private deck for sunning ourselves in the evening, after a hard morning's work
of fishing for our sustenance. The rooms are airy and light. Louise wrote
postcards to let everyone know how we're doing, and we've been leaving them
at the front desk for mail pickup, but apparently they aren't that punctual
on such things as mail delivery in Texas. But we're doing fine. well-rested,
well-fed, a bit tired of eating fish, but other than that, life is great.
We just might settle back here and stay forever.
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Yours in sisterhood,
Thelma and Louise
BACK on the road again!
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Other Sites:
Web Kat
Pond Kat
Reef Kat
San Diego,
Texas,
New Mexico
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